The finish line

I think sometimes we get too focused on the finish line. We pick something we really want, and we push with all our strength to get there. And there’s nothing wrong with having goals. The problem is when we start constantly checking how close we are to them. Because then our motivation starts depending on the answer.

Some days it looks like we’re getting closer, and we feel great. Other days it looks like nothing is working, and suddenly we question everything. But we can’t really control when, or even if, things will happen exactly the way we imagined.

I think there’s also this illusion that once we reach a certain goal, the work will somehow be done. But there’s always another thing. Another problem to solve. Another idea. Another goal. So maybe it’s better to check where we’re going once in a while, make sure we still want to go there, and then go back to focusing on the things we can actually do today. And if something changes along the way, it’s okay to change direction too.

There was this woman I used to say good morning to, and she never said good morning back. After a while I started thinking she was rude. I even thought, “Why do I keep saying good morning to her if she never replies?” And then I realized how silly that was. If I stopped being nice because I wasn’t getting the response I wanted, then was I really doing it because I'm nice? Apparently I wanted that good morning back pretty badly, haha. So I kept saying it. Eventually, she started saying good morning back. Maybe she was going through something. Maybe she just didn’t like me at first. Who knows. And no, I don’t think every rude neighbor will magically become friendly if you just keep saying good morning to them. Some people are just rude. Some ideas won’t work. Some projects won’t go anywhere.

Sometimes we’ll put a lot of effort into something and still have to let it go. But I think there’s something freeing about doing things because they are the kind of things we want to do, and not constantly looking for proof that they’re working.

We can have goals. We can want things badly. We can work really hard for them. But maybe we don’t need to stare at the finish line the whole time.

Sometimes we just need to keep going. 💛